"Be still my beating heart" by Appletree

Oi gente! Segue para vocês mais um texto da querida finlandesa Eeva. Confesso que me emocionei ao ler este texto. Ele foi todo maravilhoso, perfeito, mas o final...este sim foi de cortar meu coração...de saudade!!! Eeva tem um talento nato e é bom demais a gente ler estas coisas para não sentir que está sozinha!

BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

I began to be a desperate while listening the voice of apples that kept falling down from the trees. Dry for weeks now. Nothing new. Silent. I even heard my heart once in a while amongst that apple dropping contest. Its steady rhytmn kept telling me I am alive but nothing more.

My tree was alright. It had only one apple and I was sure its going to be there as long as the world exists. I began to be a little curious about it.

" How you think all the other trees will cope with this ?" I asked from tree and wawed my hand around me.

"First and most important thing is to survive. These little apples will come alive in other forms."

"To survive...From somewhat reason I began to think Kimi. I guess tree had something to do with it.Sometimes it feeds me with its thoughts when it doesnt want me to be too curious about its plans.

"aha..you want me to skip the garden?"

"Oh, there is gardens allright. Just dont get too exited about it." Tree warned me. It remembered the last time I left myself for a days with a certain old olive tree.

"Come on! It had sore joints."

I hadnt even stepped my foot on the ground of the wineyards when the huge sound of thousands of beating hearts almost hit me . Like all the apples of the world were dropping. I almost fainted under the weight of that confusion that those hearts left me.Someone had said big words and the hearts were scared. So scared.

I already knew where I would find Kimi. We are at the wine area ,you know.

There sat Kimi and Kaj, wine classes in their hands.

"Hello,boys..are you celebrating something?"Kimi tasted his wine, looked around him, put the wine away and took the big beer class from behind his back. I am sure the gods didnt mind...

Kaj looked at Kimi and sighed

"Never change...oh, yeah, Kimi won his first stage! I am sure thats why he is allowed to drink beer in a french team in a wine area. Kaj looked like he had had too much lemons.

"Oh..where is your map Kimi? I asked very slowly. Because Kimi didnt have his map.

And he was seemingly uncomfortable.

"Is this those boyish moments when you feel like a two years old and you dont want to give a fck about the world and fans and everything that surrounds you?"

" I know where I am going from here."

Kimi whispered.

I waited. My heart was in my throat but I knew I have to be silent and let him tell.

"Sometimes..you just have to survive. I have been for ten years now on the platform for people to see. But there on the platform is just pieces of me and the other pieces are hidden in places I dont want people to see. There I am just an ordinary guy, with ordinary needs with hopes and dreams that are not going to happen if I continue to be on the platform. I cant forget those things and sometimes..they give so strong messages to me that I get confused .

This year hasnt been easy for me. I am used to winning, used to think I know everything about my work and now I am like in a beginning of all..And I dont know if I can cope with it. To start all over again. " Then Kimi laughed a little."For once I said exactly how I feel at the moment in an interview and everyone went grazy ."

I looked at Kaj and he stared at me very intensively. I knew, just dont say a word.

" But..you know, driving those roads, sun flashing in the leaves,rocks and ground..it gives you the feeling you are flying. You dont feel your arms and legs or the seat you are sitting on, everything vanishes and the world goes faster and faster and you feel you are on the wawe, ahead of the world. You just hope it never ends." Kimi smiled.

"You have felt the flow!" I couldnt hide my joy.

"yes, and I think, I want to feel it again. Once you feel it ,you cant let it go. Thats why, dont feel betrayed or scared. I dont need a map now as my direction is one at the time..just one at the time."

"Okay...err..Kaj, stop staring that beer class and go and get one to yourself. Its time to clebrate and do it as you like!"

"Now..where are those germans.. they have all the beer." Kaj mumbled and went to look for.

I looked at Kimi and he looked over the hills to the direction of Belgium. I knew his chost was going to fly there. Wanted he or not.

Autora do texto: Appletree (Eeva)

Beijinhos, Ice-Ludy